my Sanctuary

welcome

Welcome to my sanctuary. This is a place for me to share the ups and downs of my life as a mother, woman, friend, and subbie. To revel in the triumphs and work through the difficult parts, but to always be me...the good...the bad...and the playful.

Time to Stand



Well, yesterday i sort of spent in a daze.  i felt very disconnected and i'm so thankful to my friends that just didnt seem to stop cheering me up and putting a smile on my face.  What can i say, ya just gotta love the plurverts *smiles*.

i couldnt sleep last night for anything, but on the plus side it wasn't from anxiety attacks so that's good. Although, morning is always too early when you dont get to sleep until 4am and the kiddos are up at 6 (lmao).  But after about 30 minutes of being up and moving around, i began to perk up.  i opened the blinds in the living room and let the clear blue sunshining day in; that, was quickly followed by opening the glass door and letting that crisp winter air in the house. i then played some facebook games *damn but those are addicting* until the sun was too bright to see the screen, then it was time to clean the kitchen.  Yes, i actually cleaned my kitchen and bonus *bright smiles* i remembered to turn the dishwasher on. Which of course always helps if one wants some clean dishes.

On New Year's Eve, i had asked my oldest if there was one thing that mommy could do to make him happier, and bless his heart, he said that he wanted to start going for walks with his mommy again.  It's something we used to do all the time, but given my issues this past year, it really hasnt been something that we have been doing.  So, today...we went for a mile long walk.  Okay, i walked a mile, he walked half a mile until one of his friends showed up, and then he was off playing. But, i did complete the mile walk...4 times around the center of our apartment complex, and i could feel better about it.

Then cause there were bills to be paid it was a trek to wally world, oh joy of joys.  Actually, the boys were well behaved for once, and BONUS, they had a cheap exercise ball on sale with 3 DVDs with it. Yipee!!! I was excited and couldnt wait to get home to use it. And so we did, and i did, and OMG!!! Okay, word to the wise, put that behind you and do the crunches and let me tell ya, you are gonna feel it.  That's one i'm going to have to becareful with as with my blood pressure issues, that makes me a little light headed. *yes, you can laugh.*

The day has finished off with me and the boys watching UP and eating popcorn.  All in all it was a great day. i feel like i'm on the way to finding my feet and balance.  i had some connection time with the boys. i'm planning a few things with my friends...maybe a girly night sleep over.  So excited about that possiblity. Somehow, hitting rock bottom has a way of motivating you...and i'm motivated to turn my life around.



You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright

[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh

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