my Sanctuary

welcome

Welcome to my sanctuary. This is a place for me to share the ups and downs of my life as a mother, woman, friend, and subbie. To revel in the triumphs and work through the difficult parts, but to always be me...the good...the bad...and the playful.

I Am At Peace



Divine peace and harmony dwell in me. I feel tolerance, compassion, and love for all people myself included.

One of the things that I’ve realized over the last few days is that I really am at peace with where I’m at and what I’m doing.  A flow and rhythm has grown into my life and it pulses with positive energy.  I still stumble on letting go of negative things and influences; however, I gotten a little be better at that.  Releasing friendships that just were not positive and not indulging people in their fantasies.  That was hard as I truly do like to help people, but you can only help those that want to help themselves and if they are still unwilling to let go of their delusions it’s best to just let them go.

I had a situation earlier in the week where I had learned a few things, and there was that “I told you so” part of me that wanted to throw it all out in the open.  However as I looked closer at the situation, I saw that doing so would not be an “I told you so moment” but something that would utterly erode the foundation upon this person had built their world around.  Now, I’m all for showing someone reality, but utterly destroying something that they felt was solid is not something that I want to do, especially, if they are not equipped to face reality.  I made the choice to not divulge things, but to let that friendship go.  While I can’t continue to support them in that illusion, I don’t need to hurt them either.  It was a tough call, not so much the “I told you so part” really that was childish…but, watching someone fall for things they feel are real is tough.

I think it was the peace in my own life that made it easier to just let it go.  If someone is not ready to face the realities of the world, they just aren’t ready.  Because watching it is frustrating for me, I’ve taken the backseat in a lot of things lately.  I’ve let go of a few friendships, not so much because I didn’t like them, but because they raised reactions in me that were not positive.  *One was constantly being harsh on the help and assistance that battered women get as opposed to battered men…the anger and bitter way that things were expressed, just raised my hackles up.  It was another instance where for the peace in my life, it was a friendship that I let go of, not because of the value of the person. He is a very good person, just not the kind of friendship that I need.

After eliminating some of the things that just blocked me, both mentally, emotionally and even physically this peace has filled my life and soul.  Being at peace, takes work as all good things do; however, once you have found those keys to your own peace…you will be able to look around and say…WOW, my life is SO wonderful and I am truly blessed to be living it.






 

My Life Works Beautifully


Everything in my Life works, now and forevermore.

So often i watch the piece of my life scatter and then come back together and every time i'm amazed at watching life work. HOW does it do that? Fear, pain, heartache...all mix and i feel as though my life is a total shambles and then a spark a light, and i see it all spin together and back into the light. This brilliant mix of joy flows from the center and yet, i'm not quite sure how it got there.

Life is such an interesting thing to sit and watch the simplest of things turn into some of the most powerful forces the Earth creates. The tapestries of life are amazing to behold and a wonder to witness.

I always call my life joyful chaos...my kids just laugh and say it's all random, yet somehow it all comes together. Laughter fills my home *usually at my expense* and it's those quiet moments that everything slows, and i see the wonder that my life has become.