tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56096245522417679282024-03-04T21:33:51.125-08:00my Sanctuarymy little sanctuary to write about the ups and downs of my life as a sub, mother, and friend.aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-55703472613031631242011-02-23T15:36:00.000-08:002011-02-23T15:36:08.368-08:00Well Loved<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgexTYZHRcQyy0UAo4uuIV0pLAywJJvxJcN9vJOfyBL0xRp6nHKOT4ohMfzt65WJunE8YPTiRW8gtHp5FqfzP1tzetier5x8DHutoweMUPvjS6eEKWe_GCEDPVnhCnuO7i6vxuGzrFN6C8/s1600/celticknot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgexTYZHRcQyy0UAo4uuIV0pLAywJJvxJcN9vJOfyBL0xRp6nHKOT4ohMfzt65WJunE8YPTiRW8gtHp5FqfzP1tzetier5x8DHutoweMUPvjS6eEKWe_GCEDPVnhCnuO7i6vxuGzrFN6C8/s1600/celticknot.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I still remember the day i competed the copper byzantine chainmaille necklace to go with this celtic knot pendant. I bought the pendant last year just as my business was starting to grow and move. It's one of the first things i had bought just for ME, in a very long time. I bought it from a good friend whom i adored. Truthfully, i had drooled over her creations for months and i was honored to call her a friend. Being able to purchase something so beautiful from such a good friend really lifted my spirits.<br />
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i wore this necklace pendant combo everyday. Always reaching for the pendant when i was stressed or troubled. It became a night ritual to take the polishing cloth and reshine up the copper. An almost mediative action, slowly rubbing away the daily tarnish. It was not lost on me how much the action of cleaning it reflected the cleansing i was going through internally as well. <br />
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The pendant became my own little worry stone. I can't even begin to tell you how calming going over the knot with the pad of my fingertips was, over and over i would circle the design. The knot helped me get through many days and many risks i was taking in life. *not the life or death risks* But the do i jump in and go for things i never thought possible, or do i stay where i am in relative safety. Well, i did a LOT of jumping this year and somehow i've managed to make it through okay. My pendant...well, it's well LOVED!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7vkSVvgI_yPiHCcW_6JZE6o3rsixwWmkvbr01HvYAAUgQJBSdvMUoqW-gpzsPpHTesKnUxxeJpTRtozKh20P5cc6Q6YmAZCog8FxzOF69513sTFMHAxRmQ3B700lHw7Iik3xLYAvXjAY/s1600/001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7vkSVvgI_yPiHCcW_6JZE6o3rsixwWmkvbr01HvYAAUgQJBSdvMUoqW-gpzsPpHTesKnUxxeJpTRtozKh20P5cc6Q6YmAZCog8FxzOF69513sTFMHAxRmQ3B700lHw7Iik3xLYAvXjAY/s320/001.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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I look at the pendant now and i see all the love that i have for it. All that it's gotten me through, the sleepless nights, the tears, fears, and frustrations. The pendant now has a place on my 'treasure' shelf. Mostly to keep it safe from me and my compulsion for grabbing and rubbing it. <br />
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Some may find it odd for such a little thing to mean so much, but it does. Things have changed SO much since i first got this little pendant. My business has grown and i even have MANY other pieces of jewelry made by her, and while i LOVE them all. This little pendant will always be WELL LOVED. <br />
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Thank you valerie for making something of such beauty and meaning.aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-27222598399239913102010-08-26T16:57:00.000-07:002010-08-26T17:17:41.574-07:00I Am At Peace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBv25qRXZV5OPHiUx7GB2XjXuiwiRnG2PsRSZOI5mWAeQzUHg-b2F7g4dq1HFopLaN8_vTDdp2QAYsOBc-dg-Ekp93AUh2ibcp0iIGa81FdxSneVx_aF5051F9X6w63Fby0GGuOZKVns/s1600/s-blumen-eyes-Nature-Flowers-gotico.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMBv25qRXZV5OPHiUx7GB2XjXuiwiRnG2PsRSZOI5mWAeQzUHg-b2F7g4dq1HFopLaN8_vTDdp2QAYsOBc-dg-Ekp93AUh2ibcp0iIGa81FdxSneVx_aF5051F9X6w63Fby0GGuOZKVns/s320/s-blumen-eyes-Nature-Flowers-gotico.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;"><b>Divine peace and harmony dwell in me. I feel tolerance, compassion, and love for all people myself included.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">One of the things that I’ve realized over the last few days is that I really am at peace with where I’m at and what I’m doing. A flow and rhythm has grown into my life and it pulses with positive energy. I still stumble on letting go of negative things and influences; however, I gotten a little be better at that. Releasing friendships that just were not positive and not indulging people in their fantasies. That was hard as I truly do like to help people, but you can only help those that want to help themselves and if they are still unwilling to let go of their delusions it’s best to just let them go.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I had a situation earlier in the week where I had learned a few things, and there was that “I told you so” part of me that wanted to throw it all out in the open. However as I looked closer at the situation, I saw that doing so would not be an “I told you so moment” but something that would utterly erode the foundation upon this person had built their world around. Now, I’m all for showing someone reality, but utterly destroying something that they felt was solid is not something that I want to do, especially, if they are not equipped to face reality. I made the choice to not divulge things, but to let that friendship go. While I can’t continue to support them in that illusion, I don’t need to hurt them either. It was a tough call, not so much the “I told you so part” really that was childish…but, watching someone fall for things they feel are real is tough.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I think it was the peace in my own life that made it easier to just let it go. If someone is not ready to face the realities of the world, they just aren’t ready. Because watching it is frustrating for me, I’ve taken the backseat in a lot of things lately. I’ve let go of a few friendships, not so much because I didn’t like them, but because they raised reactions in me that were not positive. *One was constantly being harsh on the help and assistance that battered women get as opposed to battered men…the anger and bitter way that things were expressed, just raised my hackles up. It was another instance where for the peace in my life, it was a friendship that I let go of, not because of the value of the person. He is a very good person, just not the kind of friendship that I need.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Monotype Corsiva'; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">After eliminating some of the things that just blocked me, both mentally, emotionally and even physically this peace has filled my life and soul. Being at peace, takes work as all good things do; however, once you have found those keys to your own peace…you will be able to look around and say…WOW, my life is SO wonderful and I am truly blessed to be living it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<div id="index_body"> <div style="background-color: #e5edfe; border: 1px solid rgb(51, 51, 51); color: blue; font-size: 12px; height: 185px; overflow: scroll; width: 265px;"> </div></div></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-12149596797057471722010-08-23T16:13:00.000-07:002010-08-23T16:13:09.015-07:00My Life Works Beautifully<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 21px;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">Everything in my Life works, now and forevermore.</span></i></b></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><br />
</span></i></b></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">So often i watch the piece of my life scatter and then come back together and every time i'm amazed at watching life work. HOW does it do that? Fear, pain, heartache...all mix and i feel as though my life is a total shambles and then a spark a light, and i see it all spin together and back into the light. This brilliant mix of joy flows from the center and yet, i'm not quite sure how it got there.</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">Life is such an interesting thing to sit and watch the simplest of things turn into some of the most powerful forces the Earth creates. The tapestries of life are amazing to behold and a wonder to witness.</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;"><br />
</span></i></div><div style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #f1c232;">I always call my life joyful chaos...my kids just laugh and say it's all random, yet somehow it all comes together. Laughter fills my home *usually at my expense* and it's those quiet moments that everything slows, and i see the wonder that my life has become.</span></i></div><div style="color: #22251a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><br />
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<div style="color: black; font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">You're "Hey Jude". Your all about making life a bit more brighter, no matter what has happened before. Unfortunately, you're a hopeless romantic, and most of your time is spent getting over loved ones. When your life is a train wreck, your friends cheer you up, help you see the brighter side, and help you to get back on your feet and back into the game. "Hey jude, dont make it bad, take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better."</span></span></i></div><br />
I have to say, it pretty much nailed it on the head. Well, i wouldnt say i'm a "hopeless romantic" but i dont give up easy on things. And i do believe that one day things will turn around in the right direction. Now, if someone happens to have the damn map to the right direction; i know i could surely use it.<br />
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i do happen to be a HUGE Beatles fan and Hey Jude is one of my favorites. So i have to say that i'm most pleased with the result of my quiz.<br />
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<object height="405" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eDdI7GhZSQA&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eDdI7GhZSQA&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object><br />
<br />
ENJOY!aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-72243878836453786042010-04-21T15:29:00.000-07:002010-04-21T15:29:48.832-07:00Taking a Break<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSK9xn7YAYCBMndmXTXwCm3rbohfkRlFcdDXiBEf3AbIOqo4rknviJsrJfF1bEebgku3vJftVD3pUCkA5KaDXViHgNaasRlRxoHnAT1KotwhKJjbo3dqlYKv0wozsknhJPy0-bFpzPAA/s1600/Sevenfold.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLSK9xn7YAYCBMndmXTXwCm3rbohfkRlFcdDXiBEf3AbIOqo4rknviJsrJfF1bEebgku3vJftVD3pUCkA5KaDXViHgNaasRlRxoHnAT1KotwhKJjbo3dqlYKv0wozsknhJPy0-bFpzPAA/s320/Sevenfold.jpg" /></a></div>i think i'm going to be taking a hiatus from posting for awhile. i dont know for how long, just until i feel comfortable doing so. No matter what i do, it always seems to ruffle feathers and really, i know i'm not the root cause, but just someone to blame. However, that doesnt stop me from getting it from both sides. Try to just focus on the happy parts but some dont want to remember.<br />
<br />
i'll still be working on making the slave bells. i have new products in and that is going well. You can find them here: <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/aislinnseroticjewels">Aislinn's Erotic Jewels</a>. <br />
<br />
I'll still be on <a href="http://www.plurk.com/aislinnmarie">plurk</a> occasionally, <a href="http://anownedlife.socialparody.com/">An Owned Life</a> mostly just hanging out and chatting with a few on the chat bar, and i'll be on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/aislinn.marie">facebook</a> from time to time.aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-30310436829858672622010-04-19T16:40:00.001-07:002010-04-19T16:40:53.892-07:00Live in the NOW!<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmG0nLmYCjv1qNV3_fkb9W74TPB0VF4RZBkvqNngBzPMXvzw9p2qrvt3LgS03v2KkDTM6jHC5p-JpNOgsHLioexHH8WasOhISOVQkGZgoYAHl0Ddy8ws3h6NelZ_2uiHRPG5xOtDTouHU/s1600/insp6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmG0nLmYCjv1qNV3_fkb9W74TPB0VF4RZBkvqNngBzPMXvzw9p2qrvt3LgS03v2KkDTM6jHC5p-JpNOgsHLioexHH8WasOhISOVQkGZgoYAHl0Ddy8ws3h6NelZ_2uiHRPG5xOtDTouHU/s320/insp6.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">This is a new day, one that I have never lived before. I stay in the Now and enjoy each and every moment. ~Louise L. Hay<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">The past is something that can’t be changed. Regrets, hurts, pains, and wrongs done are things that can’t be fixed. Dwelling on those things can affect your present and your future. The past is over, every day is a new day to grow, change and blossom into the better person that one is destined to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">The present is the only thing that we have any control over. The things that we do from second to second, that writes the story of our lives. One can stay focused on the past; however, they lose sight of all that’s in the present. Each day holds a beauty that will never be again. It exists but at that one moment. The breeze, smell, and energy of life flows forward, and so must we. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">No one knows that the future may hold, not the next year, month, week, day or even minute. The only thing that’s known is NOW. Right here, right now…that is what’s real. The past is gone; the future has yet to happen. Now is the time to learn, grow, and experience all the things that life has to offer. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Life’s energy is in the NOW. Have you embraced that energy today? Have you utilized it to improve the life that you now live? There is no change in the past, and it’s only in the NOW that we can build ourselves up for the destiny that we were meant for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-64772164591422486532010-04-14T14:46:00.001-07:002010-04-14T14:46:56.128-07:00Still Not There Yet, Still Room to Grow<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWJN08x0IElvWUiYZW8P-_8xP7Dep4JKRxJ5uhxTjAFTKYCTmzK2n-V_8Aj9cRozm63nI5Gdm4uQ1pJN_w3HqEjk0b1xPkawts27jAQEaTdJhDTqn5Ud4_rPKzzwyGgNZDyMnenzNrNA/s1600/Room+To+Grow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWJN08x0IElvWUiYZW8P-_8xP7Dep4JKRxJ5uhxTjAFTKYCTmzK2n-V_8Aj9cRozm63nI5Gdm4uQ1pJN_w3HqEjk0b1xPkawts27jAQEaTdJhDTqn5Ud4_rPKzzwyGgNZDyMnenzNrNA/s320/Room+To+Grow.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s been an interesting few days to say the least, a lot that is not good, but thankfully there are bright sides so I’ll focus on those. I’m still moving forward in my life. But a few road blocks have been it, but that’s life…go around or break them down and move on. I think that’s what I’ve focused on now. Putting one foot in front of the other, but cant help but wonder if something permanent transpired or just another temporary setback. Okay enough of the negative, it’s past actions and I cant do anything about them, but learn and move forward.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">On the positives, well, I went back to focusing on the things that I need to do, and so I started making more slave bells again. And low and behold, but I sold 2 of them in one day. It was wonderful to wake up that morning to see that one was sold, it was an emotional boost that I needed. Then later the same day I finished and posted another anklet and it wasn’t up more than 15 mins before it was sold. I was shocked and amazed as well as extremely greatful.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I have started working with wire work on the anklets, it takes a LOT longer to make one but I like the end result. It’s like nothing I have seen in dancing/slave bells and it looks very delicate. Over all I’m very pleased with them, although I’m probably not charging enough for the amount of time it takes to make them. But such is life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">The other positive I have going on is that I have my body in a state of ketosis. I monitor it closely as to not let my ketones get too high, but it means that my body is burning fat…YIPEE!! I have been steadily losing weight now for about 2 weeks and I’m very excited. I need to continue this and stick with it. I know it will work. I just need to maintain focus and determination. I CAN do this, and I will.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">All in all I’m surviving at this point and trying to avoid any emotional triggers. I had one breakdown earlier this week and I don’t want another. The only way to change perception is to change myself…transform it and make it new. <o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-79952908836516399352010-04-14T08:44:00.001-07:002010-04-14T08:44:00.656-07:00How Others View Me<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5L8Lh7C9OWdEqTWVYHb3_WsWc_MaRvJYUy662GqTfhn1WXgDuL-tU_1E0OZA2L7BcSZOYKn1pDehN0JFfqUyHFQ7KWwNHUcjYwAm_mXAOJf_9azlLgoxaD2cU00-IRMfYuVbychYj6so/s1600/800W053xIHG.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5L8Lh7C9OWdEqTWVYHb3_WsWc_MaRvJYUy662GqTfhn1WXgDuL-tU_1E0OZA2L7BcSZOYKn1pDehN0JFfqUyHFQ7KWwNHUcjYwAm_mXAOJf_9azlLgoxaD2cU00-IRMfYuVbychYj6so/s320/800W053xIHG.gif" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Working on taking an honest look at things, and one of those is how people view me. I am amazed at the spectrum of opinions there are and it got me to wondering why. Is it solely their perceptions from past experiences with others, is it truly me, is it their choice to see the negative, or do those bringing out the negativity within me? And then I also look at the amount of time that I spend interacting with these individuals, and how often they have been positive uplifting experience and how many have been challenging. Do they take the time to truly get to know me…in an open and honest manner, or always waiting for me to make a mistake?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt;">I was joking around with one of my friends a few weeks ago, when out of the blue she said “you’re such a cutie” and I sort of flippantly answered “yeah, I know.” She then replied with “</span><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt;">But then so are you, sweetie! i think youre one of the most real people in the room, because you dont put on a front, pretend to be anything you arent, & youre always so honest & yet polite & kind. But you dont lay back & let anyone walk on you either. You just pick your battles wisely & calmly. you are always a real lady with dignity & humor & clarity You rarely get sucked into a mindless conflict.” I was floored. I had known her for a long time. I was amazed at the impression I had made on her. It really does wrap up the person that I strive to be. I have others that say I’m sweet, kind, and giving. And lol, not all of them are just online, but others that I know real time as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt;">I have also been called selfish, hurtful, unkind, and jealous. These are things that I don’t strive to be. So why is it that some see this side of me? They are not characteristics that I try to cultivate. Is it the time they have spent getting to know me, is it too little or too much? Have they truly tried to find and see who I am, inside and out? Have they truly tried to get to know me, or just watch for me to be those things because they expect them? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt;">Honestly, the truth is most likely in the middle. I can be hotheaded and I can easily be hurt. I lash out from time to time, and say things that I shouldn’t. But I also give my heart to most anyone I see in pain. I want to comfort them and support them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt;">Fortunately or unfortunately, I am all those characteristics. I can only hope and pray that my good side may shine brighter than my dark. And hope that one day, those that don’t see the good parts of me, may one day be able to see it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-84651622953842700252010-04-12T07:39:00.000-07:002010-04-12T07:59:17.795-07:00Perception<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqiZmsSEcYM-WHuV9_sX4U8iCmvNq6PIgoiZvXOjqf914pfbbx7j_fIMzNzpfKnKlKZgwJhZMun-wAT5Un2bU7VcMHQXKt3CkFgI3Va5YMMSMt4lyfT9P7WNj00n_u1a_zGnzdsy8-X_c/s1600/fantasy85.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqiZmsSEcYM-WHuV9_sX4U8iCmvNq6PIgoiZvXOjqf914pfbbx7j_fIMzNzpfKnKlKZgwJhZMun-wAT5Un2bU7VcMHQXKt3CkFgI3Va5YMMSMt4lyfT9P7WNj00n_u1a_zGnzdsy8-X_c/s320/fantasy85.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Perception is a funny thing, it can work for you or it can work against. It’s all in how you choose to look at things. I’ve been stung by my own perception more times than I would care to count. But each time reminds me that I need to change my outlook. No one is responsible for how I perceive things but me. If I choose to see something negative then that’s my choice to do so. However, I can also choose to see the positive in things as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">There are times when it’s difficult to see things positively. There are so many ways to take things negatively, but the odd thing is that there is just as many positive ways to look at things as well. I find that when I find myself looking at something negatively that I need to take a step back and try to see if from a different angle. Sometimes it takes longer to get into a positive mindset about a situation, but it is possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s a struggle to change your perception on things. Sometimes even a minute to minute battle. But with the will and desire to change that perception, it is possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-19177169856368862282010-04-11T08:13:00.000-07:002010-04-11T08:13:42.073-07:00Taking A Step Back<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2g1vDkRgHLX4FHaFkJwaB7EO5QgTncsu06vJvSNclJt8TLaXRbLqiH16ieu3nF9HlOdDDKsOcemib9n4lxKN-gDzQGvwehGCz1ik0jxlxyrPbhLiTyWOiOQE4saZViWLUSBaz1kffXjQ/s1600/forever+near.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2g1vDkRgHLX4FHaFkJwaB7EO5QgTncsu06vJvSNclJt8TLaXRbLqiH16ieu3nF9HlOdDDKsOcemib9n4lxKN-gDzQGvwehGCz1ik0jxlxyrPbhLiTyWOiOQE4saZViWLUSBaz1kffXjQ/s320/forever+near.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I did not have a good day the other day. I was emotional before I even woke all the way up. *never a good sign* It’s actually why I got out of bed in the first place, to start doing things to get distract myself from the thoughts in my head. My day just continued to get worse. And at one point I even had a mini-break down. It was at that time I took a step back. I took a step back and surrounded myself with people I knew would be able to support me. And they did, I have the most awesome friends ever, and I love you all.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I wrote…trying to remind myself of the specialness that I have within me and that I can handle and surpass whatever is thrown at me. It helped but not by a lot. I wasn’t in a place to deal with much, everything seemed to be coming at me. Unfiltered emotions running rampant. And so I took that step back from areas that I knew would only trigger things further. I needed to, I had to, or I would have gone nuts. I knew I was taking things harder than I should be, and that I would be better the next day. Recover and adapt seems to be my way. I just needed some time to do that…and I took it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I did a bit of evaluating on a few areas of my life. I am still not sure if I found all the answers, but life is not about finding the answers but looking at the questions. What is life without passion? I’m not sure I ever really want to find out. I am passionate about many things, and the life that I want to lead is one of them. I have high ideals for things, that sometimes go against the goals of another. I get frustrated, I speak out…it’s hard not to when it’s something that you care about. So, there is another thing I need to step back from and let things develop as they may. However, the step back does not mean gone, just letting go of certain things. I put myself out there too much right now, in a time that I should be taking for myself. To rebuild a life is not an easy task, and sometimes it’s easier to just do something else for someone else. It’s always easier to help someone else than it is to help myself sometimes. Okay, most of the time. I can forget my own hurts and pains and engross myself in the needs of someone else. Helping them, listening to them, and trying to guide them, it puts my mind at ease, but doesn’t take care of me. I have no idea why I’m so much better at guiding someone else than I am at guiding myself, but it’s true.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Until I was in a better space in my head, I closed off a few areas in my life, the messenger being one of them. There were just a few on there that are emotional black holes and I was dealing with an energy hole within myself. I hate that feeling…that emptiness that seems to suck the life out of everything and yet never gets full. I like to give positive energy out…I’m at peace being able to lift people up and bring some light to their day. The dark days are very difficult for me to deal with, I’m learning slowly ways to work with them as no one can be happy and chipper 24/7, but it’s a touch and go thing sometimes.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I want to take a moment to thank my friends who supported me when I was down. I appreciate it very much. You held me up, instead of just saying I was feeling sorry for myself…when I’m spinning that only seems to make things worse. You helped me work through the thoughts in my head by reminding me of all the good things that I do and am. Sometimes you need to be reminded that you do have a purpose and that you do have value.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Okay I’m going to stop writing before this turns into a novel. I wish everyone a wonderful day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-86419917676249874122010-04-09T09:35:00.000-07:002010-04-09T10:08:17.331-07:00I Will Not Fear The Darkness<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT_nrY2ntT1RbCEQzuTiI7rESBCfcke-FwGyz_CVOLV_2o37bTa9XfW8KWmVh8ynWbJVueIBy-zjAqpInPsNX8BU05QkYz9XaRy4QjLM4OKdhO4K5vvSbWNX2QXSgagXrIu429rOJkFZI/s1600/00148.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT_nrY2ntT1RbCEQzuTiI7rESBCfcke-FwGyz_CVOLV_2o37bTa9XfW8KWmVh8ynWbJVueIBy-zjAqpInPsNX8BU05QkYz9XaRy4QjLM4OKdhO4K5vvSbWNX2QXSgagXrIu429rOJkFZI/s320/00148.gif" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I am more than the darkness that surrounds me, for I carry a light within.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">The light pierces the darkness like a beacon searching<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">My laughter will echo through the abyss making that light only brighter.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">It lights my way back to the sun, to the cleansing rain, and the energizing wind.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I will walk with unfettered steps towards the world in light.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I shall not languish in darkness, for I am too bright.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">My light will not be extinguished, for it serves many<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes only in the abyss to we remember how bright our light can shine.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I will not fear the darkness, for it holds no power.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I will shine on<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I will persevere <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I am heart and soul<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I am love and light<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">These things are me, they are who I am.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-49368796883621219752010-04-04T14:49:00.001-07:002010-04-04T14:59:19.908-07:00You All Amaze Me<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrzqRf5gwTlHDiwt_rOLPTOws_IFmTHTz3PuT2gYvEnFOWDIJM8GrKXGwdtgUVoPW4zSQUle0Q-0Fp_oLu5u08P7rzh3Rb3KkntgyfJ111uZNWWH_NGuECvDdONH6Ukr0TtzkjBB-lAOY/s1600/00003.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrzqRf5gwTlHDiwt_rOLPTOws_IFmTHTz3PuT2gYvEnFOWDIJM8GrKXGwdtgUVoPW4zSQUle0Q-0Fp_oLu5u08P7rzh3Rb3KkntgyfJ111uZNWWH_NGuECvDdONH6Ukr0TtzkjBB-lAOY/s320/00003.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I am truly blessed by the friends that I have that include me in their lives. They amaze me every day. I am humbled by the things that they do to include and welcome me into their lives. They have accepted me just as I am. No restrictions or reservations, they accept all of me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">This week the littles were gone with the grandparents, and so I had free time. I am so grateful and humbled by my friends that made sure that I was able to take full advantage of the time. Events included an unscheduled coffee with everyone that I care so much for, an overnight kidnapping and trip to the nudie beach, some playtime with a good friend full of fun and laughter…and some really hard swats occasionally, topping it all off was the trip to the Shed. I had such a wonderful and full week and I am blessed by having people that wish and make an effort to include me in their lives. It truly means the world to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Being at the Shed is such a wonderful experience. It’s a place full of life and energy. Open and welcoming it’s a place where I am free to be who I am. i am honored to have been accepted by the people and staff there, it fills my heart with a joy that borders on overwhelming. The energy there is just amazing, I love receiving it as well as giving my own. I can’t express how honored I am by those that have taken their time to get to know me and play with me. You will always have a special place in my heart. There are just places and times in one’s life that one can think on and your heart just soars at the thought…they have given me that memory and place and I am eternally grateful. I only wish I was able to visit more often as with every experience I grow and open up more.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I am surrounded by the most wonderful people, and I am blessed to be a part of your lives. THANK YOU!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Okay on a totally random and fun note….SUPSENSION ROCKS!!! It’s the most amazing thing. It made me feel so tiny and it was the most exhilarating experience. *Still say we need to paint designs of the floor* I never understood the draw to being suspended, although I love been tied up, but after…I am a new addict. <o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-89078742338526752642010-03-27T14:56:00.001-07:002010-03-27T14:56:44.329-07:00Service Drop?<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZsUme9BbNs5W1eRyLNMJlT3z033T9bP7Ffbxp6d64iSFshAzHP7xuRDpXaDIwfMEF3Fn5eGPxVsBrG96uoMN3nYuX2BAOAl928KEOUjW9dxknsH2IBIgaVmLtYUnale_97RiIaxS6OLc/s1600/027.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZsUme9BbNs5W1eRyLNMJlT3z033T9bP7Ffbxp6d64iSFshAzHP7xuRDpXaDIwfMEF3Fn5eGPxVsBrG96uoMN3nYuX2BAOAl928KEOUjW9dxknsH2IBIgaVmLtYUnale_97RiIaxS6OLc/s320/027.gif" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Is there a service drop? We all hear about a sub-drop after a scene but what about one that’s mostly just a service slave/sub. Do they experience a drop as well? To be honest it’s something I’ve never considered or thought about before, but then a strange thing *well, not that strange* and after analyzing it and actually discussing things through with someone while it was happening…I got to thinking. Maybe, what I was experiencing was a service drop?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Okay, a little background and maybe you will see what I started to see. It started off with a conversation with a friend and an idea that I knew my former Master would love. It’s something that I knew would be good and something that would help Him reach the goals in His life. After hearing more details I was so excited to tell Him about it, the backs of my knees were even shaking. I knew it was something that would benefit Him. It would help Him reach His goals and help fulfill His desires. **All good right**<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Then the bad thoughts started pouring in. Why was I still thinking as His slave would? Why is it the first thing I think of is not how I can benefit from something but how He can? I’m not His anymore. Why work things out, when I still do what I did before? How is this making myself more valuable to Him, when it really doesn’t matter if I’m owned or not, I still do these things? *and I started to crash and crash hard* I was feeling pathetic and worthless. **the old adage why buy the cow when you are giving the milk for free thoughts popped into my head.**<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I started feeling worthless and used. Logically, I know that I’m worth something and I know I have value, but knowing something and feeling something are two very different things.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">As I was talking to my friend about my feelings, she said that it almost sounds exactly what she would say during a bad drop after a scene. *click* And I started thinking. So what about that? After a scene many subs/slaves need that aftercare/validation that they are valued and cared for and that everything is okay. But what about a service slave that doesn’t or very very rarely plays? And then if you add if the internet is the main form of interaction, there’s no way for one to see if she’s pleasing, no way to see the shine in the eyes that tells you that everything is okay. You only have the written word, and sometimes that conveys so very little.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I started to think that what if these bad emotional episodes I was going through had to do with something similar to a sub-drop. I know that the depths of the depression I would go to was deeper than any I’ve experienced. But I really had no idea where exactly they were coming from. It didn’t make sense to have such reactions. And if it didn’t make sense to me, it really didn’t make sense to my Master. We both got tied up in a circle of frustration…and ultimately that was our downfall there. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to figure out where things went so wrong so that I can learn from it and watch for signs the next go around. I love this lifestyle. The more I’m involved in it the more I know that it’s part of who I am. Nothing drives that home for me more than that simple fact that even unowned, I still wish to do all I can for my former Master…even when I know there are times when it will tear me up to do so. If that’s not a sign that this lifestyle is at the core of who I am, I don’t know what is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I’d love to hear others thoughts on this. It’s something I don’t think has ever really been considered…and I would like to know if maybe I’m on to something here, or just totally off base.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-74756149618111361952010-03-24T16:45:00.001-07:002010-03-24T16:45:38.152-07:00I Am Safe in the Universe, and ALL Life Loves and Supports Me<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSAOkBEFY7M_Uu-sc0WgbJx7bYoJkl4tgwsR7h6bVpKtl_Ftt5eFIn0oyQDMk65EYYygaZb3NpevQGZ08Oz4F6gmIS5SE8-WuHJEbgurnLCFQ5UHp5BJrLx4pnVkQ3sTxDXWnHY3TwEsY/s1600/121088564568088.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSAOkBEFY7M_Uu-sc0WgbJx7bYoJkl4tgwsR7h6bVpKtl_Ftt5eFIn0oyQDMk65EYYygaZb3NpevQGZ08Oz4F6gmIS5SE8-WuHJEbgurnLCFQ5UHp5BJrLx4pnVkQ3sTxDXWnHY3TwEsY/s320/121088564568088.png" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I breathe in the fullness and richness of Life. I observe with joy as Life abundantly supports me and supplies me with more good than I can imagine. ~Louise L. Hay<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Today was one of those days where I could feel the abundance of life around me. The positive energy was infectious. I could feel the world bringing me everything that I needed. And wow, did I need energy! I am back to doing my walks which I enjoy greatly. They bring me in tune with myself and the world around me. Oddly, it’s my quiet time. It’s the time that I take for myself to re-center and get in touch with the world around me.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I need that time to sort out things. It’s this time that I use to gather up the strength to get myself through the day. Sometimes, one of my kids walks with me. When it’s my oldest we talk of issues he may be having at school and how to be a better citizen and person. The differences between good friends and bad, and other life lessons. He makes me so proud. When it’s the youngest well, I just cant help but laugh at his antics. He is a force unto himself and thank god there is only one of him in the world. But He amazes me everyday.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">It’s on these walks that I see just how blessed my life really is. I have all that I need and there is a richness that surrounds me. I have the love of friends and family *granted my family is just my boys*, but I couldn’t ask for a better one. I still long for someone to share parts of my life with, but it’s a true sharing of life that I want. To be a part of their life as they are a part of mine. I don’t do exclusion well. Actually, it’s very detrimental to me…I am sure it comes from my past and how I was raised, as I was always separated from the family in one fashion or another. I got to watch while others lived and it kills me to do that anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I know there is greatness within me, still waiting for the right person to help work with me to direct it. One day that will happen, but until then I shall enjoy every moment that life brings me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-24466489752368060582010-03-24T10:03:00.000-07:002010-03-24T10:03:29.696-07:00Steps to Happiness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYuHmCB-7vsIhNeUinH03sXi2kT8KTuGe_PorpPO6_VGmDtO-OJ6_wYnpxiygoZ7gmI_DXgYNL8LC786JSMlrWWK0r_GXyOMtd4tw4q3aJ3Z4tkLKftzpmTsGGgVhgZLjueAMYCGy1oyQ/s1600/lake-view1148.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYuHmCB-7vsIhNeUinH03sXi2kT8KTuGe_PorpPO6_VGmDtO-OJ6_wYnpxiygoZ7gmI_DXgYNL8LC786JSMlrWWK0r_GXyOMtd4tw4q3aJ3Z4tkLKftzpmTsGGgVhgZLjueAMYCGy1oyQ/s320/lake-view1148.jpg" /></a></div><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Steps to Happiness<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You can’t be all things to all people.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You can’t do all things at once.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You can’t do all things equally well.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You can’t do all things better than everyone else.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">So:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You have to find out who you are, and be that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You have to decide what comes first, and do that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You have to discover your strengths, and use them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You have to learn not to compete with others,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Because no one else is in the contest of “<b>being you</b>”.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Then:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You will have learned to live with your limitations.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">And you’ll be a most vital mortal.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Dare to Believe:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">That you are a wonderful, unique person.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">That you are a one-in-all-history event.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">That life’s not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">And you’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-89678380508533064332010-03-22T17:54:00.001-07:002010-03-22T17:54:56.328-07:00I Experience Love Whereever I Go<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4uIbJpMkTbMEaRTsH6lVf0g1rQxWamXLdBe5lQau2osZSiqqK7_pVp-wrCqms0HqTC9PJ7Gxd1oe6NqhD2YiPuGxpb-kLuhD1F-Ens9sfAejaEc5itWm47Zb1OAj9xZmy7sVZxEz0T4/s1600-h/fantasy98.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4uIbJpMkTbMEaRTsH6lVf0g1rQxWamXLdBe5lQau2osZSiqqK7_pVp-wrCqms0HqTC9PJ7Gxd1oe6NqhD2YiPuGxpb-kLuhD1F-Ens9sfAejaEc5itWm47Zb1OAj9xZmy7sVZxEz0T4/s320/fantasy98.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Love is everywhere, and I am loving and lovable. Loving people fill my life, and I find myself easily expressing love to other. ~Louise L. Hay<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, anyone that truly knows me knows that I love people. I cant help but love people. It’s in my nature to be open to the love that surrounds me. I’m not afraid to love. I do it easily. I’m afraid not to love, because without love…what are you? It’s love that makes us compassionate, empathic, and it’s love that’s a driving force in our character.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I had always thought that everyone was like me. But I have found that is not the case. There are people who have forgotten how to love or they are so guarded they are unable to let themselves be loved or give love in return. To be honest, it’s something that I don’t understand. Similar, to how I was not able to understand spanking, paddling, whippings and the like until it was something I experienced. I’ll admit that cutting myself off from love is not something I want to do. It’s something that I don’t think will make me a better person. One of the biggest things that makes me me..is my ablitity to love people. I like that about myself, even when it means that I get hurt and hurt often…I wouldn’t trade it for not being able to see the love and feel the love for people that I do.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">There are people who are scared by me and my ability to love. Another thing I sort of understand. It can be unnerving when dealing with one such as myself. Worried that I will feel more for them than I will, or that I want more from them because they feel that I’m “in” love…and not just love them as the person they are. Admittedly, love is a confusing emotion, but in my case it’s part of my being. I have to love people. I like being close to them. There are few things that are more thrilling to me than to have a group of friends together where I can freely express the love that I have for the people there, be it with hugs and kisses or something just a tad bit more. Okay, really, gotta admit, I love to flirt to. But, it’s this capacity to love that is something that I cherish about myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Do I get hurt more often because of this characteristic? Yes, I do. But I would rather get hurt than never know the thrilling heights that one can reach when they open themselves up to the love of the universe. The energy and the power is awe inspiring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-52220425005837895752010-03-21T16:18:00.001-07:002010-03-21T16:18:11.984-07:00I See Clearly<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4nFBlvsH2J9CcUnFcde0wI824ajeGZMG7v-5v7-1FyevUIDwOi0chuQ66k9oweznXIun62p6bdqouJHaUXMvXu2ACTMrdvCQJNFEGqqPD5JpgDvOkeiX8qjxWLTxjS9V0TODU-R3mEfQ/s1600-h/a5717a649d346ed0c51be68888c130cd_20091228115054_510.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4nFBlvsH2J9CcUnFcde0wI824ajeGZMG7v-5v7-1FyevUIDwOi0chuQ66k9oweznXIun62p6bdqouJHaUXMvXu2ACTMrdvCQJNFEGqqPD5JpgDvOkeiX8qjxWLTxjS9V0TODU-R3mEfQ/s320/a5717a649d346ed0c51be68888c130cd_20091228115054_510.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I willingly forgive. I breathe love into my vision, and I see with compassion and understanding. My clear insight is reflected in my outer sight. ~Louise L. Hay<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Sometimes, we want to rail against someone. Whether for perceived wrongs or justified ones; it’s human nature to want to defend oneself. I think that’s why they say that to forgive is divine. Sometimes it’s something easier said than done. But if you truly take a step back and look, you can find that compassion within your heart and understand, and once that understanding fills your heart you can forgive.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">If you look for the beauty in people and let that stay the vision of them then you will look on the world with joy in your heart. That’s not to say there still won’t be issues, far from it. When two people look at the world differently…there truly are two visions of the world…from the biggest change…to the smallest of conversations. No two people experience the same thing the same way. It all depends on the people involved and how they choose to view things.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Yes, how you view things is a choice and one personal to the one viewing them. I certainly know that there is at least one person that every time I leave an interaction where there was some laughter…maybe even tears…I feel that it was an overall positive conversation…only to later find that the other one didn’t view it that way. It’s frustrating, but that’s just the difference on how we view things and the things within the conversation that we choose to remember.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I choose to remember the more positive aspects of the conversation…even if it’s only a small grain to hold to…it’s that..i will remember. That she is happy and well. That’s a good thing. Moving forward and growing, that’s all we can hope for and strive for…everyday. And honestly, I think that I would like to think of it as a positive experience. <o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-80466735198423471182010-03-19T16:22:00.000-07:002010-03-19T16:22:29.532-07:00Careful How You View Others<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwKNdGM_i_1w_K98qjRRneWDi0hCwzzsU7Rq3fvKU_GQSP1VkDl_N6QY74oL7VqaDINUi6CkF7D-ny8g3qAAyg3wYHdiYO5klz1VGm670r_Z-McOQnbFU0oG1OVZKp5ZY8Cnxz4NUwOpQ/s1600-h/00026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwKNdGM_i_1w_K98qjRRneWDi0hCwzzsU7Rq3fvKU_GQSP1VkDl_N6QY74oL7VqaDINUi6CkF7D-ny8g3qAAyg3wYHdiYO5klz1VGm670r_Z-McOQnbFU0oG1OVZKp5ZY8Cnxz4NUwOpQ/s320/00026.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Persistently viewing others as dishonest, lazy, sinful, and ignorant can be a way of compensating for something you fear. If there’s a pattern of seeing others as failures, you need to notice this pattern as evidence of what you’re attracting into your life. ~Dr. Dwayne Dyer<o:p></o:p></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">It truly amazes me how often people will look for the bad in others rather than the good. I have watched as someone has looked for and found every perceivable flaw. The end result only bringing drama and trials to their life when it wasn’t necessary. And I’ve noticed that the patterns do in fact model their lives as well. The exact same thing that they point out in others…is something that they themselves DO.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I think of all the wasted energy and it almost makes me want to pull all my hair out. I know how much better and less stressful it is…to not always look for the bad in people. Is this naïve? Maybe, maybe not, but it also puts me in tune with life. I don’t have the barriers to experience the good things in life…unfortunately; I don’t have the barriers to keep out the bad either. But the good outweighs the bad, and I’ve noticed that having those barriers up only increases the negative experiences.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Watch how you view people, if you are consistently viewing people in a negative light, you could be bringing more heartache and stress into your life than necessary. Lighten up…live…laugh…love. Life is meant to be lived with a full heart. Not shrouded in the negativity of fear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-59987944866742111002010-03-18T18:12:00.001-07:002010-03-18T18:12:28.717-07:00I Love and Approve of Myself<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfw1hiMeIymhQrsdAO4oNcTa8qmTo1gQL6_N1jRhLLucIqaWwU1pzwpcbarLoCyknL2CmQk12aL3DPGzJYmO_c96LzaLb3pfSFhK4ldi5fv3Tq5IsRokD_MM7ZUZyoy8FnZ7H4ZDj5N1M/s1600-h/fantasy118.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfw1hiMeIymhQrsdAO4oNcTa8qmTo1gQL6_N1jRhLLucIqaWwU1pzwpcbarLoCyknL2CmQk12aL3DPGzJYmO_c96LzaLb3pfSFhK4ldi5fv3Tq5IsRokD_MM7ZUZyoy8FnZ7H4ZDj5N1M/s320/fantasy118.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I appreciate all that I do. I am good enough just as I am. I speak up for myself. I ask for what I want. I claim my power. ~Louise L. Hay<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I have had a hard time speaking up for myself with those that are closest to me. I am working on changing that…learning to find my voice and ability to express those things. It hasn’t been an easy thing to learn. It’s something that I have to work on every day. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">It was hard to find that I am good enough as I am…but if I take a step back from myself I find that...i am good enough as I am. Not that I cant improve things…because I can. However, I am a good and wonderful person. I work hard for my family and friends. I try to bring joy into the lives of those I know.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m still not the best at asking for what I want…hell, I can still barely ask for what I need. But I’m slowly getting a better understanding of just what that is. With this better understanding of what my needs are I can best tell others what my needs and wants really are. Hopefully, in the future it will help me develop a stable and long lasting relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-52567681350360181342010-03-17T19:04:00.001-07:002010-03-17T19:04:38.753-07:00A Very Productive Day<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLMu5G1BHIymqwB4m4T84qIFQoD98Gl92S6vWAGZsmaHlnJJwmWps5JTpBErSrdOUml7S7gVWqRaQH-jWf-rOhW-iLDA67GplK9b_9-sqjTxpnx-9aogJ4cnf6Lrygr6trFlWMy0NCa-g/s1600-h/squarebanner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLMu5G1BHIymqwB4m4T84qIFQoD98Gl92S6vWAGZsmaHlnJJwmWps5JTpBErSrdOUml7S7gVWqRaQH-jWf-rOhW-iLDA67GplK9b_9-sqjTxpnx-9aogJ4cnf6Lrygr6trFlWMy0NCa-g/s320/squarebanner.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I have taken another step forward today. I worked on some projects with the bells, opened an <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/aislinnseroticjewels">etsy</a> store, and made some banners, over all I would say that I had a very productive day. I also snuck in some time to help a friend with His site too. I’m pretty pleased with the way things have gone today.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I’ve be talking and trying to help people where I can; it’s only right after all the help that others have been to me that I give back some of myself. Not that it’s easy, it’s a challenge to help and yet not get in the way. It should be, I should feel comfortable helping in any and every way I can; however, it seems the more I help the more that I’m being blocked from doing so. But I carry on, and do what I can when I can.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Service is honestly at the heart of who I am. Those feelings, wants, needs and desires don’t just go away. In fact they grow and intensify. This time though, I want to keep myself instead of losing myself into the darkness like last time. Hopefully, I have learned how to make it so that doesn’t happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-49962439304718991162010-03-17T11:30:00.001-07:002010-03-17T11:30:01.215-07:00Why So Negative<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5hGVNt0Jo_pxTqEQ_wvUdvX9EafVyo617ExWat7Abs0ClaSEaAeEwzlDVCAlzS6kfJIHz_1cIJRdNlgcIZZnI8fK7kGiF88_IpOp4gZ2MKdBi7IgGesqjU7o5ZQUTjXt4s_m1YfCi4sI/s1600-h/Inspiration_by_MyFuckingStyle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5hGVNt0Jo_pxTqEQ_wvUdvX9EafVyo617ExWat7Abs0ClaSEaAeEwzlDVCAlzS6kfJIHz_1cIJRdNlgcIZZnI8fK7kGiF88_IpOp4gZ2MKdBi7IgGesqjU7o5ZQUTjXt4s_m1YfCi4sI/s320/Inspiration_by_MyFuckingStyle.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">How do you want to present yourself? I’ve been reading a lot on a social site. I haven’t decided yet if I really want to participate or not. Mostly from what I read, it’s a place to just dog on other people. Maybe a way for someone to get their point across to others in a ‘public’ venue and thus a passive aggressive way of dealing with frustrations and hurts, the result is making the place an uninviting place where most are just putting themselves up as elitists and I’m better than anyone else. Contrary to what some make think…reading about and replying to other people’s bitches is not how I want to spend my time. There is a lot to be said for “if you cant say something nice don’t say it at all”.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I do have good friends on the site and I would love to interact with them more there, but I have a hard time wanting to open up my life somewhere I feel has a negative atmosphere. I realize life is not always happy and good, but it doesn’t always have to be some combative and challenging either. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">There are people I just don’t enjoy talking to..doesnt mean that I don’t like them…just talking to them is difficult. Somehow they can twist words and actions around to the WORST thing possible. Making a simple conversation into something more, and making every conversation a battle of what do I say and what don’t I say. It’s a damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation. It’s exhausting. It drains all your positive energy and so I do my best to interact with these people as little as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">What drives me nuts is that they don’t see what they are doing. They don’t see the weight and extra hardships that they put on their interactions with people close to them. I have friends that hang around these draining people. I can see the impact they have on my friends. It’s hard to watch but there isn’t a lot that I can do about it…other than limit my time with them when they are around these people.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">So anyway, my choice for now is to hang back and watch the site from a distance. Hopefully, the feel and attitude of the site will change and I will feel more welcome in participating. For now, it has a feel that I’m just not comfortable with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-70139360433664099032010-03-13T15:47:00.001-08:002010-03-13T15:55:29.293-08:00One Step Closer To Living<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0AJ6pZABzW1X2NqJTt-frMqcqFYwCKNPUTHLy-HP_BhzY3AfxLM3Cd47fIFrSO6X4SEoEE22-khnM-PIMEnReoJIS5l1sWmuErOXWKcklwCm0VFSNBHvCEGSnRiNDZnB44hw69HGD5o8/s1600-h/all+around+me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0AJ6pZABzW1X2NqJTt-frMqcqFYwCKNPUTHLy-HP_BhzY3AfxLM3Cd47fIFrSO6X4SEoEE22-khnM-PIMEnReoJIS5l1sWmuErOXWKcklwCm0VFSNBHvCEGSnRiNDZnB44hw69HGD5o8/s320/all+around+me.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">I am so very fortunate and grateful for the friends that I have. You are all truly the blessings in my life. So many of you have been holding my hand lately and helping me walk the path that I’m on. Every day, I’m learning and growing thanks to you. I’m stronger each day that I awaken because of the strength that you give me. You believe in me when I’m not sure I believe in myself, you push when I need to be pushed and hug when I need a hug. You encourage me in so many ways I can only hope that one day I will be able to help you as much as you have helped me.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">The <a href="http://aislinnseroticjewelsandmore.blogspot.com/">Jewels</a> site is doing well. It’s slowed down from that frantic pace that was the beginning and now I think it’s growing slowly yet steadily. Thanks to the support of friends…there’s now a banner for it as well as links that are slowly spreading across the web.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">On the personal front, there have been steps away and steps closer. It’s terrifying to open myself up again but life goes on. I can only hope that I have learned from the past enough that the same mistakes won’t be mad this time. I am welcoming the peace that’s come into my life. And I can see the chaos that still reigns in the one I left. I’m so very thankful that I have distanced myself from that. Some things never do change and separating yourself from it is the only thing that you can do. It’s hard as part of me wants to be so close but I know the pain that lies there. And now, someone is helping me move past that as well. But it’s still hard…every day is hard. Emotions don’t just turn off; the desire to serve doesn’t just turn off…I CANT change who I am at the core of my being. <o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-50063949685790079392010-03-08T13:10:00.000-08:002010-03-08T13:10:41.152-08:00I Think I'm Still A Little Lost<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE_y3wF5mic_HWGjzedvq7Sx-hKUiy5lJkMkRciJzrx2-SgPJphcH3d3MA-90Iw66jx22h5Lgmt-CEsgb_imOze7rej16il715QE9peyXZvV-cKnVwkHC2rEe4JxJ-ceV3_cAEj1PuaLI/s1600-h/elliott_nocturne.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE_y3wF5mic_HWGjzedvq7Sx-hKUiy5lJkMkRciJzrx2-SgPJphcH3d3MA-90Iw66jx22h5Lgmt-CEsgb_imOze7rej16il715QE9peyXZvV-cKnVwkHC2rEe4JxJ-ceV3_cAEj1PuaLI/s320/elliott_nocturne.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">Well, things continue to more forward for me. The bells are going well, and giving me a sense of purpose. I’m having a few issues with other things. A confusion that I don’t like, I feel like I’m continuing to be played and toyed with in a not so good way. It’s frustrating to have so much faith in someone but think ultimately you are just being played. I try to suppress those thoughts and feelings as they are really not productive. I can only move forward. One step at a time, telling yourself that tomorrow will be better. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 16pt; line-height: 115%;">One day there is hope the next it gets crushed. But such is life, one door opens and another closes. It’s the revolving doors that drive me crazy. Sometimes, I feel stuck in one. I think in some areas I’m still very lost and very confused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-34332117934434869802010-03-07T10:30:00.001-08:002010-03-07T10:30:39.138-08:00What Do You Mean I'm a Pain Slut!<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images3.fetlife.com/53/53900/35aa0d683eff1077ef6ff7126f441fd9_20100307121005_510.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://images3.fetlife.com/53/53900/35aa0d683eff1077ef6ff7126f441fd9_20100307121005_510.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">What do you mean I’m more of a pain slut that you thought? I couldn’t believe my ears when I was told that I was a pain slut. That’s a title that I never thought would EVER in a million years apply to me. But guess what…I think He was right. I really think He was after I went and saw the results of last night’s play in the mirror under good lighting. WOW, I cant believe I took that…and wanted more, much much more.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Last night was my first foray into the local dungeon, The Shed, and wow, what and experience it was. I cant even explain what a good time I had and just how much I want to go back. Looking in the mirror, my ass had a good time to. It was SOO wonderful to meet all the people that I have talked to for so long or just have known by reputation. I’m sure some are glad to have met the bubbly happy me…yes, I’m pretty much like I am online. Although I will say that I did refrain myself from hugging everyone…I’m not sure how long that will hold out for though. I’m a hugger I cant help it and when I’m really happy, and oh yes I was very happy, I just love to huggle most anyone and everyone. And as I get to know people more…well the hugs come out more.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">Last night was such an experience, I don’t even know where to begin. Well, I like whips…that’s up there…almost as much as thuddy floggers…and omg, the nerf baseball bat..it may be nerf but it packs a deep thuddy punch. Oh yes and the electric fly swatter…while interesting…not a good idea inside a cage…4 hits almost at once…bit much. Now, I’ll be honest **yes that self preservation filter isn’t fully back yet** and say that I could see that being more fun…spaced out a bit more. **think I may end up regretting saying that but oh well.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I can no longer say that I’ve never really bruised anymore cause…DAMN. WOW, yes now I know why those darn chairs at Denny’s hurt so much and why every time we hit a bump on the way home…HELLO! But I have to say, I’m so proud of myself. I went from being scared to death of anything ouchie, to being called a pain slut. WOW, talk about progress.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609624552241767928.post-7505353677568208202010-02-20T16:55:00.000-08:002010-02-20T16:55:51.160-08:00Personal Connections Make The Difference<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 12" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx" rel="themeData"></link><link href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5Caislinn%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml" rel="colorSchemeMapping"></link><style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK9eTkj4RSdHq5WKaHWksb23zo0YuOcNAxAVx58xzF5ugt5WwwyDseg02V_LPn-Gm8REn6azbOTM24gMOyOiyEUT90L_BAIO7YpLOesisKZ_sy6c40mVhiwF44P9CVtjUulqMcvjuCUs8/s1600-h/fairy22.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK9eTkj4RSdHq5WKaHWksb23zo0YuOcNAxAVx58xzF5ugt5WwwyDseg02V_LPn-Gm8REn6azbOTM24gMOyOiyEUT90L_BAIO7YpLOesisKZ_sy6c40mVhiwF44P9CVtjUulqMcvjuCUs8/s320/fairy22.gif" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I think I have finally figured out what has made this work so well. It’s my personal relationship with people that’s made all the difference. So many times I’ve tried to stress the importance of making those personal connections and the importance that they have. This is really such a close community that making those connections in imperative to any successful endeavor. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">There is a reason I keep thanking everyone so much. Because I KNOW that without you I would be just spinning my wheels. But instead I feel as though I have an army of supporters, backing me and cheering me on. Not only have some actually stepped up and purchased something, but they are also spreading the word about the bells. For that, I can never thank you enough.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">The response has been so overwhelming in fact that I’m really hoping that paypal gets me that check quickly or I’m going to have to go on back orders as I don’t have enough money to send out anymore. How is that for selling out. It’s truly amazing. I can’t wait to see what the next few months hold.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 115%;">I truly feel blessed in all that I am doing right now. May blessing shine upon you all as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>aislinnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16942039220260228649noreply@blogger.com0