my Sanctuary


Welcome to my sanctuary. This is a place for me to share the ups and downs of my life as a mother, woman, friend, and subbie. To revel in the triumphs and work through the difficult parts, but to always be me...the good...the bad...and the playful.

I Experience Love Whereever I Go

Love is everywhere, and I am loving and lovable.  Loving people fill my life, and I find myself easily expressing love to other. ~Louise L. Hay

Well, anyone that truly knows me knows that I love people.  I cant help but love people.  It’s in my nature to be open to the love that surrounds me.  I’m not afraid to love.  I do it easily.  I’m afraid not to love, because without love…what are you?  It’s love that makes us compassionate, empathic, and it’s love that’s a driving force in our character.

I had always thought that everyone was like me. But I have found that is not the case.  There are people who have forgotten how to love or they are so guarded they are unable to let themselves be loved or give love in return.  To be honest, it’s something that I don’t understand.  Similar, to how I was not able to understand spanking, paddling, whippings and the like until it was something I experienced.  I’ll admit that cutting myself off from love is not something I want to do.  It’s something that I don’t think will make me a better person.  One of the biggest things that makes me my ablitity to love people.  I like that about myself, even when it means that I get hurt and hurt often…I wouldn’t trade it for not being able to see the love and feel the love for people that I do.

There are people who are scared by me and my ability to love.  Another thing I sort of understand.  It can be unnerving when dealing with one such as myself.  Worried that I will feel more for them than I will, or that I want more from them because they feel that I’m “in” love…and not just love them as the person they are.  Admittedly, love is a confusing emotion, but in my case it’s part of my being.  I have to love people.  I like being close to them.  There are few things that are more thrilling to me than to have a group of friends together where I can freely express the love that I have for the people there, be it with hugs and kisses or something just a tad bit more.  Okay, really, gotta admit, I love to flirt to.  But, it’s this capacity to love that is something that I cherish about myself. 

Do I get hurt more often because of this characteristic? Yes, I do.  But I would rather get hurt than never know the thrilling heights that one can reach when they open themselves up to the love of the universe.  The energy and the power is awe inspiring.


alex said...

Some time ago - in a distant lifetime ago - I was totally unable to feel anything. After a lifetime of abuse and suffering, the darling man in my life picked me up and dusted me off, kissing my boo-boos, and telling me life would get better, but I had to do the work. So when you say - you would rather be hurt and love than not feel at all - I can honestly say - you are not unfounded in your belief, according to my experiences. It is better to put it out there and feel than the ice cold I went through.

So live on - and scare the hell out of people ;)

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